Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
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He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
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Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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