Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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