I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
