Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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