I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How does it feel to date your dad?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
