thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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