R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize