what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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