Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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