He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
