first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
