DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize