I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
