Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
