Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
