Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
