so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize