girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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