just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
