Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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