...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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