but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize