you win again, gameday.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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