doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
