We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize