did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Randomize
