come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fill condoms, not promises.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
