I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
