Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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