so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
