And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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