this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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