remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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