He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
