So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
