Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
