Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize