GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
