I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
