Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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