if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
