I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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