i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
