so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
