Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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