she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom