I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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