Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank