there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you still have your period?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.