Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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