Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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