While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
