I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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