one might say we're banned from that church
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
