Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
