i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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