you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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