I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
did you just send me my own nude
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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