So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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