Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can I color on your dick again?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
