i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize