I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm just crazy horny about you
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
