out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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